How 'bout them apples →
Well, that is just adorable. →
Dear Grad School, Ok, look—it took forever for me to get into you, and that was mostly my fault. However, now that I’ve been accepted by you, I wish we could sort a few things out. 1) Why is registering for classes such an ordeal? 2) Why was the TK20 placement apparently supposed to be done by the first of July when our enrollment workshop isn’t until the 15th? P.S. I...
You know what?
I freaking love cider. All cider. Cider in a fancy bottle? Fuck yes. Pear Cider in a big mug at the Stray Cat? Fuck yes. Strongbow from Sunstop or Bevmo and in my fridge or in my tummy? Fuck yes. So suck on that, ho.
Music is a lot like magic. You can’t even hold it.– ICP song “Miracles”
RB: Twink, the crystal. T: Colors make you happy!– Rainbow Brite, crazy drug dealer.
Rachul loves her beemo baby
That’s very educational
I miss bro bear →
Man, I KNEW dogs were sketchy. →
Guess I’ll have to settle for nasty ketchup.– Blasphemy via Rachul
Work Pants, a poem
Cheese grater thighs trying to force a chub rub that won’t quit even after the time clock says “ta-ta, work-to-date 5.8” Sauce splatter decorates the calf like a pizza hut homicide and a dash of nacho cheese coats those pants just so just so you don’t forget what goes great with pretzels Add a pinch of flavocol to make your popcorn flavors pop and your pants,...
So, you know how on TV and in movies in hotels the house keeper comes and says, “house keeping!” and then barges in the room? Well. I was sitting in my underwear on the couch before work, like ya do, and I swear I hear, “HOUSE KEEPING” right outside my door, so I panicked. And went sprinting to my room holding my computer. my phone went flying across the couch and I...
So give me something to sing about.
I’ve got a feelin’ and tonight’s gonna be just another night and tonight’s gonna be just another night it’s a normal distribution after all and even if I did drop statistics I know that it’s mostly average. we’re mostly average except when we’re extraordinary in either direction and that just crops out of nowhere so shouldn’t we...
Are delicious. I effing love you, True Blood.
Dear Chicken Chow Mein Fun,
You are so much better than chicken or chow mein by itself. I think it’s the fun. Whatever you’re doing, keep doing it, and I’ll keep eating you. Love, Amanda
What’s his name? Slowku?– Dragon Ball Z Kai
No, it’s not like Phil Spiderman. He’s a Spider. Man.– Chandler to Phoebe on Friends.
Brittany spit in my mouth– My life
Oh, you silly bitch
Dear Self, Didn’t we designate Livejournal and Deviantart for all our silly qualms and mel- o- drama- tic nonsensical nonsense? I’m sure we’ve had this talk before, you silly bitch, and let’s just simmer down now and have a good time. It’s time for good times.
You were a bitchy six!– Devin to Britt
Oh, those summer nights
Maybe summer’s just a liminal space with the heat cranked up just enough to make your back sweat and you can’t forget it even though you’re facing the other way You could do a lot worse Like pretend it’s not there that every drop of awkward perspiration isn’t sliding down your spine down your nerves staining your shirt for everyone to see It makes you...
Baby, baby, baby, you are my voodoo child, my voodoo child.– Rogue Traders’ song “Voodoo Child.” Imagine that.
People try thing, because they don’t want it enough.– Rachul’s fortune cookie. It always puts things in perspective